WON'T STEAL YOUR SANDWICH FROM THE FRIDGE. YET.
NOW HIRING: THE MOST OP JOB EVER
Already mutilated thousands from your couch this morning?
Go by a nefarious alter ego that expresses who you are a great deal more than the cookie-cutter government name your parents cursed upon you? (Yes Clarence Ferrence, this could be your moment!)
Wish your job had minibosses who aren't Deborah from HR?
If you replied with a smart-arse remark to any of these questions, you're the perfect candidate.
Employment isn't a game. Until now.
OPSYS is looking for a gamer to run our Overpowered User Experience (OUX) Department. It's a made-up title in a department of one that we're using as an excuse to pay someone to play video games on their very own OPSYS.
Instead of paying some ad guy £30k to promote the most overpowered computers in the world, we're giving you £30k to play games on them. We even have a real sounding title to impress your friends.
- Life experience doesn't matter here. We only care about the kind of XP that gets you to the level cap so you can cheese your way through any endgame.
- Yes, please.
Key Responsibilities and Duties:
- Play games on OP systems.
- Accept or decline invites to the holiday parties.
- That's it.
- No trolls. We're looking for a serious gamer who spends more time in the games themselves than the comments sections of more serious gamers. Just regular old-fashioned, parent-rejected, bloodshot and unrelenting gamers, please.
- Game-Addicts only. OPSYS's Overpowered User Experience (OUX) Engineer can't spend the whole day looking up wtf gamers are talking about. You have to know. So, immediately have thoughts on the meta, the memes, and the best way to minmax your way to an easy win, you're right for this job.
- No Clans. Look, we all like to party. But we're looking for a soloist. So please don't show up with your hot twin and think it's gonna sway us into making this some sort of freakydeaky team thing. You'll be playing with a number of other teams, clans, crews, and players as you work hard to become more OP than all of them combined. Look at you. A one-person riot.
- Individuality matters. Everything we do helps people be OP on their terms. Just like your computer, you use fans to prevent overheating and should stand out in a crowd. This means you just need to be the most you that you can be. And if we like you, you get to play games for a living. Lucky you. It helps to have a tattoo so we can verify that it's really you in emergency situations. (tats are not essential, personality is)
- A full-time position where you play games on your own OPSYS, the world's most OP gaming system.
- Remote working via the magic of fibre optics.
- I heard there might be cake.
- Post a 60-second video (Youtube, Twitch, IG) letting the world know why you deserve to be the world's first and only OUX Engineer and get paid to play video games all day on the most OP systems.
- Previous experience in anything but gaming will need explanation as to why.
£30,000 12-month contract
Play games on the world's most OP gaming system
9 April 2021
12 July 2021
19 July 2021
1 August 2021
Is this real? - Yes, this is real. We're not the easter bunny or Santa or Xbox, we're a real gaming system with a real job offer.
Is this some QA thing? - Not a QA gig. That would involve actual work. Which would suck.
Do I have to play any specific games? - Candidates can play any games on their OPSYS. That's the beauty of a machine purpose-built to give you an unfair advantage in any game.
How old do I have to be to apply? - Anyone can apply. Anyone who can legally accept a full-time job can win.
Do I have to live in the UK to apply? - See above.
Who do I contact at the company? - Customer service is for customers. You're much more than that. You're our future. Well, one of you anyway.
Why videos? - Video submissions are way less boring than words, that's why.
Are you sure this is real? - It's hard to believe that someone would pay someone else to just play games as much as they want on their own custom gaming system that's worth a few month's salary. That's why it's a dream job.
We're happy to answer more questions. Hit us up @OPSYS_gaming
BEST. JOB. EVER.
Do something important with your life. Win at games.
If you want to become OP at life even sooner, check out our core PC range. We offer free shipping within the UK, and not-free shipping elsewhere. What a deal.